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This Digital Age... 11 September, 2006 It has taken me this goddamned long to get my phone connected... It’s the year 2006 and it’s taken FIVE BILLION YEARS (three weeks) for my obviously incompetent and anally retentive ISP to get my phone line and ADSL connection transferred to our new place. For days I’ve been walking around like a veritable cave man wondering how I’m going to... Google things, and stuff without my connection. Okay, so I didn't totally think that one through but that doesn’t make this any less of a travesty. I couldn’t call for a pizza!! Well, yes... I could have called from my mobile phone... But you’re missing the point. The stupid and ugly (I’d wager) woman on the “Support” hotline advised that she had organised for a technician to come out to the house and fix something that was obviously wrong with the phone connection. Anyhow, I get home from work and find a little calling card stuffed in a crevice by the front door that says: “Sorry we missed you...blah blah blah”, so I call the number on the calling card. THIS number leads me to the call centre of our wonderful national telecommunications centre who advise me to call the ISP... “So I should call them even though one of your technicians left me this number to call?” “Yeah, they’ll be able to help you from here...” LYING SLAG. I called the ISP obviously they said: “You’re supposed to call the number on the calling card...” I was going to tell her that I planned on finding out where she lived and setting her front door on fire but I've been busted for that kind of shenanigan before. I mean really, who can’t see the funny side of that? So foolishly I called the other number again who, as you so astutely have guessed told me to call the ISP back. After this I screamed and wept and Velvet had to take care of anything that involved talking to another human being because I had just resorted to yelling into my mobile: “I JUST WANT A PHONE! I JUST WANT TO GOOGLE THINGS!...” But all’s well. I mean here we are after all. All hooked up and technologically armed... I just Googled ‘Scot Baio’... Did you know he’s still alive? |
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